


The Rabbit of Hearts

by SilentxTime



Category: Alice In Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
Genre: AU, Alice is not the main character, Alternate Universe, Curses, Gen, POV First Person, wild i know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-05-13 09:25:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19248373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentxTime/pseuds/SilentxTime
Summary: Wonderland isn't realIt's all a curseAnd we're trapped hereTo play the partFor her.-The White Rabbit wasn't always the White Rabbit, and he is the only one who can remember this. The more time he spends trapped here, the more his memory of his life and reality slips from him. Can he find a way out before he completely succumbs to the twists of Wonderland?Some chapters contain drawings.





	1. The Rabbit

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I started to write back in 2012. At the time I started feeling like I kept seeing the same type of Wonderland stories (especially this Hatter trend that started to pop up) So I wanted something different. What if the White Rabbit was the focus?  
> 100% written for fun  
> I make no promises about updates, I am so sorry.

"You're late."

The words rang in my head as I jolted out of sleep. The last image that rested on my eyes being that of the ground turning a wet red as my blood spilled. I ran my hand along my right eye, feeling the scars. It was just a dream of the past.

Just a dream. Just a dream.

I kept telling myself that, although I wasn't sure why. The hauntings of the event won't go away. The hauntings of this life were still present. This life was still a curse, still a nightmare. It had all become real, and there was no waking up from it. I should stop saying comforting words like 'it's just a dream'. I should just give in. I should just...

I reached under the bed for my journal. I opened it to a random page and started skimming the lines I had scribbled down. This is what my life was. This is what it will be again, it had to be.

When everyone was first trapped in this world, we were all sure it wouldn't last—It couldn't. But as time passed, our confidence diminished and I noticed our past lives were starting to be erased. It started off as small things, but quickly became something to cause alarm. Forgetting about a daily task soon escalated to forgetting people in our lives. Even our own names started to slip from our memory.

I was too late for my own name (Somehow, that was one of the first things to go for me), but once I realized what was happening, I recorded everything I could into this journal. Who I was, who the people I knew were, what my life was. I have to hold onto it; I have to keep reminding myself. What I had become for this world—it isn't me. I'm not this. I am not—

Pounding from the door sent me tossing my journal back under the bed. I made my way over to the entrance of the room to see who my visitor was, although I probably could have guessed.

"You've been summoned," the red knight announced. I said nothing back. I simply closed the door behind me and pushed passed him. He followed of course, which I found terribly annoying. It was bad enough she was calling for my presence, I didn't need an escort or anyone to watch me.

The red knight was left waiting outside as I closed the doors to the chamber behind me. She turned around at the sound of the click and met my gaze. Her eyes were the only visible features of her face, for she wore a mask covering her nose and mouth. They seemed sad, full of sorrow and longing, and there's a chance she could have been crying earlier.

"My queen," I bowed.

As soon as I spoke, light filled her eyes and she was probably smiling behind that mask of hers. She walked with a quick pace towards me, arms slightly stretched out. As soon as she was close enough, she threw herself at me and wrapped her arms around my neck. My hands remained at my sides, my eyes remained forward.

"I'm happy... Happy you're here," she whispered.

"Is there something you wish for me to retrieve for you, my lady?" I asked.

"Nooo..." she replied, pressing her head into my neck. "Just you," she pulled away, "I just want you here. I just want my bunny."

My jaw tightened at her desire. I have to keep reminding myself. I am not this. I am _not_ the White Rabbit.


	2. Off With Your.... Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> White Rabbit has a nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a fan of this part. It was originally written completely separate and then I just stuck it in as chapter 2.  
> Also, I know these parts are short. I really was just casually playing with this idea.  
> 2013 doodle to make up for it at the end

It's ok, I'm here now. I know I'm a little late, but only by a couple minutes though, right? It shouldn't matter. Her slow approach makes me uneasy though.

Something's telling me to run, but I'm standing here, frozen—hoping not to be seen? Damn these animal instincts. They're so confusing sometimes. Why doesn't a rabbit just run?

She stopped right in front of me, her voice low, almost a whisper and chillingly calm, "You're late..."

Then she was gone. The room was gone as well. Everything was black like all light had fled from existence. I tried to move around but my muscles felt stiff. It was like I was trying to move while trapped in thick murky liquid.

My heart began to race. The rabbit instincts are screaming at me to run but I remained immobile.

"You're late."

The words echoed among the static that filled suddenly my ears. Flashes of color pulsated passed my eyes with the pain that now pounded throughout my entire skull. When the colors subsided, the blackness from earlier was also gone. I was on my knees, a tunneled vision looking at the ground—at least I think. It's hard to focus on anything but the pain. I tried my hardest to locate where the razor ripping pains were emitting from and gripped the side of my face. Warm liquid quickly coated my hand and I slowly realized I could only see out one eye.

I shot up to a sitting position as my consciousness broke the nightmare. My lungs gasped for air and I noticed the Queen is staring at me. Her eyebrows were drawn and her eyes clouded with worry. "Forgive me, my Queen," my voice shook, "I seem to have fallen asleep."

She reached out and touched my hand gently. It was then I noticed I was gripping my scarred eye just as I was in the dream. I removed my hand from my face and gave hers a reassuring squeeze that I was fine.

"Please excuse me," I said as I stood from the couch I had fallen asleep on. She stood from her chair as well but didn't follow as I stepped away. I had almost made it to the door when she called out for me.

I turned to her running up to me, and had no chance to react as she embraced me. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice muffled and barely audible as she spoke through her mask and into my jacket. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

I pulled her away from me and looked at her face. Her eyes shimmered with the threat of tears. I was kicking myself for having that nightmare again while in the company of the Queen. She could never escape the immense amount of guilt for what she had done to my eye, and I couldn't stand seeing her like this. It almost made me feel sorry for her. It almost made me want to forgive her, for my eye, for everything.

I pushed the hair out of her face. Yes, it almost made me want to do anything to see the light in her eyes again. Disgusted with myself, I turned and exited the room.

 


	3. Mad Grin

The gardens outside the palace were peaceful. I could almost feel myself relax whenever I walked through them. The air and nature sounds cleared away the last of my nightmare of the past, but unfortunately did nothing to quell the nightmare I lived. How I wished I could just wake up and have this all be finally over.

"You know what I find fascinating?" a voice called out as I walked up to the gate. He was lounging on a low hanging branch of a tree, looking up at the late morning sky. Without waiting for an answer on my part, he continued, "That idea of yours about other worlds being out there."

I placed my hand on the gate and paused momentarily, thinking about my past life. "Really," I said finally.

"What a concept—I keep thinking about it. It's like all that talk about aliens or ghosts and all that other stuff people don't believe in," he laughed.

I closed the gate behind me and looked up at him, "You don't believe me?"

He looked down at me then with a wide grin, "Believe you? Your idea is crazy! Ludicrous! It's completely _mad_!" He jumped down from the tree then and landed right in front of me. He met my eyes with his lively sight, "Of _course_ I believe you!"

"Heh, thanks Hatter. Unfortunately, your credibility doesn't go far." I offered a smile.

"Morris," he said flatly with an irritated look in his eye.

"Pardon?" As soon as I spoke I realized what he meant, but it was too late. Whatever had been in his eyes for that split second was again consumed with the twists of Wonderland.

I had fallen into habit addressing him as the Mad Hatter, which for the most part, he took on the identity. Every so often, however, the person behind the character would surface—And I say that loosely. Throughout all of Wonderland, he is the only one I know of who can remember his name. But to my dismay, that's all he is ever able to recall. It's something though, and it at least takes away a fragment of the loneliness.

If I could remember bits and pieces of my life, the Hatter his name, then it wasn't foolish to hope that there were others like us. Others that could remember, if only a minor detail. "There has to be someone else who would believe," I mumbled.

Whispering laughter caught the wind and danced around us.

 _Bunny bunny bunny, hunny_  
_What is this strange idea you conceive_  
_That you know no one will believe?_

My eyes searched around to spot the source from which these words came from, but had no luck.

_Up here._

I followed the direction and caught sight of a grin wider than the Hatters' earlier high in the tree branches. It appeared to be a disembodied mouth in the shadows, but if I strained to see closer, I could make out the faint silhouette of a person.

The Hatter followed my gaze and smiled at what he spotted, "Now, I've learned my lesson. I know I haven't eaten those mushrooms today, so what is _that?_ "

The teeth chattered in laughter, "Make haste, little rabbit. You've sparked my interest, but my attention has a time limit."

"Then I won't waste the time at all. I don't remember inviting you to the topic. You're an eavesdropper anyway," I replied, implying that they already knew.

"Right you are!" the voice beamed. "A land outside this of Wonder? I fear you spend too much time with the Queen and the Hatter. Your mind is slipping."

I strained a smile, "What does it matter to you anyhow?"

"It doesn't. Not really."

"Then if you'll excuse me," I said and turned.

I had made it only a couple of steps down the path before the voice followed. "Perhaps I'm feeling a bit bored and using you to pass the time," it spoke somewhere ahead of me, "You wish to break this world, do you not?"

I stopped and searched the tree tops. The hatter pointed somewhere to my right, locating the mouth once again.

"It's going to take a little more than a hammer to a window to break anything," it continued.

"You seem to know something," I insinuated.

"Me? Know something? Not in the least," the smile grew, "You, however, seem to be an expert of our legend. Tell me, what will happen next? Is there a happy ending? What is missing from the picture?"

"Missing?" I prompted, but it was useless. The mouth whispered laughter and vanished. I looked over to the Hatter in hopes of some help answering the riddle. The look on his face told me he was just as confused as I was. I struggled with my thoughts of life pre-wonderland. There was something missing all this time?

"Two arms, two legs... Well I'm not missing anything, and neither are you. Wait," the Hatter developed a horrified look on his face, "Where are my rabbit ears?!"

I stared at him blankly to convey that I didn't find that funny. When his expression didn't change, I realized he was serious, but decided to leave that matter alone.

I became consumed in my thoughts. That sharp grin never said anything without a purpose. It would seem remembering the story would come easier, seeing as how it was now my life, but even now I was drawing blanks. Everything was created and transferred with such detail, where could there be an error?

No, there was no error. Nothing of this land is missing at all. How could I have overlooked it? The White Rabbit had made me so blind, accustomed to the life of Wonderland. Not having the speculation of anything or anyone being out of place. No outsiders in Wonderland.

"It's Alice..." I whispered.


	4. Glass Tea Cup

“A rabbit hole,” I murmured to myself. “I don’t know of any rabbit hole.” Since I became the White Rabbit, I should have this specific knowledge. Alice was said to follow a white rabbit down a rabbit hole, so why don’t I know of such a thing? I all but slammed my head down on the long table, rattling the miscellaneous cups and dishes that littered the surface. I was racking my brain and still coming up with nothing.

The Hatter poured some tea into the cup nearest to me. “What would the White Rabbit be doing in that other world in the first place?” he pondered aloud and took a seat.

At this, I lifted my head and stared off, not too sure of the answer myself. I struggled to remember if the reason was ever even stated in the original story. “Maybe he just wanted far away from here,” I said, answering more personally for myself than an actual reason for the character.

A teacup suddenly hit me in the side of the head. "Ah! What—" I looked over to see the March Hare staring intently at me, then burst out laughing.

With another teacup in hand he mumbled, “Shovel,” and started digging at the ground.

“I doubt I could dig my own magical portal,” I sighed, rubbing my temple where the cup made contact. The March Hare projected his makeshift shovel at my head once more. I was sure to dodge it this time, although his hysterical laughter was all the same as before when it hit me.

The cup smashed into a cloth covered object leaning against one of the many piles of junk that surrounded the area. “Ever think of cleaning this place up a little, Hatter?” I asked walking over to the pile.

“I don’t think you have an appreciation for my treasures,” he replied staring into his cup.

“Treasure?” I laughed and yanked out a broken croquet club from the pile, “You’re right. Look, a king’s scepter.”

The March Hare scrambled over, pulled it from my grip, and climbed on top of the mass that was covered with a cloth. He sat down with careful balance and after striking a mockery of a royal pose, he looked down at me and smiled.

I stared politely back then tugged on the cloth. “What is this anyway?”

The Hatter gazed for a long moment then smiled, “I haven’t the foggiest idea.”

“You mean you never even looked at it?” I asked as I pulled the cloth back. I jumped slightly with surprise as a face was staring back at me. The March Hare jumped down and I pulled the cloth off completely.

“Looking glass,” the Hare announced.

“A completely filthy one,” the Hatter remarked from the table.

It was true. It was so encrusted with dirt and dust, I could barely recognize my own reflection if it was visible. I even doubted the Hatter could see any reflection at all from where he was sitting. I tried wiping the glass with the cloth but it did little help.

I caught sight of the dull image of the watch hanging from my chest and a moment of panic struck through me. “Hatter!” I turned, “What time is it?”

The Hatter pulled a watch out of a nearby teacup, glanced at it, then put it back. “Aren’t you the one who always has a clock on you?,” he pointed.

“It’s exactly six,” the March Hare said.

“It’s always six,” Hatter added.

“Every month.”

“I don’t have time for this,” I interjected and made my way towards the path in the woods.

“Is that a pun?” asked the Hare.

“You know, it’s unfortunate,” the Hatter spoke, “I haven’t seen him in ages. Have you talked to Time lately?”

“Talk to...” I started to ask but stopped. Even if this nonsense was possible, I’d rather avoid having a frozen time box around me.

 

* * *

 

 

My watch didn’t start working again until I was in the castle. Luckily, I wasn’t late at all. Maybe even a little early if I felt like being optimistic. But optimism was a foreign concept to me here inside these walls. I had missed the execution, though, and I was far from sorry for that fact. None of the executions were of anyone I knew from the past, or at least no one I could remember. Nevertheless, I could barely stomach witnessing such an event to either an innocent stranger, or someone with potential connections to me in the past life.

“His head came off so quickly,” the Red Queen recounted, staring off as we walked. I made no comment nor any acknowledgement to what she had just said. The less I knew, the better.

“For you, my queen,” I said presenting a box full of tarts.

She took the box from me carefully and stopped walking. After a moment of silence, she said, “I don’t like tarts anymore,” and tossed the box aside. She then grabbed my hand and directed me to continue walking with her.

She said nothing after that and I decided to break the silence, “So what do you like?”

“You,” she said and leaned into me, still holding my hand.

I was immensely uncomfortable and very much wanted to get away. For all the time I had been forced to spend with her, I still could not figure out her vast interest in me. I had no memory of ever meeting her before this curse was set into place, and I was pretty sure it wasn’t part of the memories that were forgotten. So why did she pick me?

The Queen came to a stop. “Why is that here?”

A small fragile looking girl stood at the end of the hallway. Her outfit reminded me of petals, and the closer we approached, the more I could smell the sweet scents of violets, daisies, roses—flowers in general I suppose.

She bowed and spoke in a soft, quiet voice, “Pardon my intrusion, your highness.”

“I don’t want you here, go away,” the Queen demanded.

The girl winced.

I squeezed the Queen’s hand that still had a grip on mine, “She must have something important to tell you to seek you out like this.” I looked over to the girl and tried to offer a friendly smile, but one glance at the Queen, and her eyes avoided me completely.

“Fine,” the Queen said, “What do you want?”

“We...” the girl began, “We, um, n-need your presence. In the Rose Court.”

“Why?”

“For preparations to be to your liking, we need your approval of a few things.”

The Queen looked at me, and I could tell she was going to object to leaving my side. Before she could say anything, I withdrew my hand. “Go on, my Queen.”

“But—”

“I’m starting to feel unwell,” I said, stopping her protest. “I’ll go rest while you deal with this.” I bowed then, and took my leave.

Saying I was sick was sure to make her worry, and I knew this. She will most likely send someone to tend to me later. I was feeling fine, but the Rose Court issues gave me opportunity for some space, and I would be a fool to pass up any such thing as opportunity.

I moved through the corridors to my chamber in peace for the most part. There were a few red knights here and there, but none of them said a word to me. Some gave me looks of distaste while others ignored my passing existence altogether. There was a mutual dislike for each other, although I was never clear on the exact reason they didn’t like me. Most likely, it had something to do with my relationship with the Queen, but I couldn't care less about their feelings pertaining to it. I never chose to be in this position.

“If I could, I would, buddy,” I whispered under my breath after I passed a knight who glared right through me. I was almost to my chamber, and for the rest of the way, there didn’t appear to be any more knights in the perimeter. I was thankful for such isolation. The day was moving on into the evening and my tolerance for Wonderland seemed to be shorter today than usual. My mind was feeling slightly numb. My memories were still intact, but the edges were beginning to become fuzzy.

As I rounded the corner, I saw reason to stop dead in my tracks. The room was one of my very few sanctuaries in this twisted prison. No one, not the knights, nor even chambermaids dared to enter my room without my permission or presence. I grabbed hold of a nearby floor candelabra and cautiously stepped forward to the cracked open door.


	5. Parasite World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written like 2 years after the previous parts lol  
> Bonus at the end: 2014 illustration of the characters thus far

The room was relatively dark and empty looking, but the atmosphere suggested otherwise. I tightened my grip on the candelabra, and took a swing to my left. A musical laughter erupted and drifted over to my bed.

“Almost got me,” a familiar voice giggled.

“Cat,” I said as an unamused reply.

“I’m surprised you knew I was there.” The shape of her body now took form, lounging on my bed. Her eyes glowed at me.

This was actually the first I had ever seen the Cheshire Cat since this world had taken form. She rarely ever came out of the shadows, always out of reach, showing nothing more than her sharp smile. Her feline ears twitched at me when I turned on a nearby lamp, although that was the only sign of discomfort at not having a blanket of darkness to protect her.

I took in the sight of her for a few moments. “I was under the impression you were male,” I commented, more to myself, referring to the original story.

She held my gaze for about half a second before pulling back her shirt and glancing down at her breasts. “What was the tip off?” She met my eyes again, “The voice or the boobs?”

Much to her satisfaction, I glanced away in slight embarrassment. “What are you doing here?”

Her smile was even evident in her voice, “I just wanted to know more about my life from the expert, but all I find are scribbles about some far off land. Are you striving to be a writer?”

I turned back to see her flipping through my notebook. In the sudden anger that flared up in me, I quickly snatched it away from her grip.

“You’re really quite good at it,” she laughed and sat up. “It almost seemed as if it was all real.”

By now it seemed pointless to keep up the Wonderland facade in front of her. “It was,” I sighed.

She let out an exasperated breath at my tone, “You’re such a downer.”

I gave her a hard stare, “Perhaps you would be too, if you were in my position.”

She returned with a quick, hard laugh, “To be in your state of insanity?”

“I feel about the only sane one here,” I replied.

She shook her head at me. “It’s Wonderland, dearest. We’re all mad here.”

I hardened my expression, “So it seems.”

I stepped over to a wall opposite of her and leaned against it. My eyes settled on the floor, and we both lapsed into silence. If all she came to do was mock me, it was much unappreciated.

“Where do you think we are?” Lady Cheshire hummed.

I took my eyes off the ground to glance at her, “Pardon?”

“Where are we?” she repeated.

“Uh,” I was confused, “Wonderland?”

“No, no. Where are we?”

My eyes shifted around the room, then back at her, “My… room?”

“No! Where _are_ we?!”

“You’re not making any sense!” I snapped.

Lady Cheshire pulled her legs up so that she was sitting on her knees. “If we really are from this ‘real world’ of yours, where did it go? Were we really pulled into this realm of wonder, or did it spring up like a parasite on a host?”

I was struck with silence at this thought. It had never really crossed my mind. Was Wonderland really a completely separate dimension, or was I still in my home town camouflaged as such?

“How would we be able to find out?” I asked, eager to know if she had already possessed this knowledge.

Lady took this question into consideration. Suddenly, she erupted in that same musical laughter, “I’ve not a clue, bunny!”

I slid down the wall I was leaning on in disappointment. My gaze lifted to the ceiling. Lady Cheshire wasn’t very known for revealing herself from the shadows, especially for an extended amount of time—and so close up too. Hence the reason why I, nor many other wonderlanders I knew were aware of her gender. Still, the oddity of Lady presenting herself to me made me hopeful for a turn of events. It seems, however, that all that awaited me were minor mockery and more theories to ponder over.

“Why have you come to see me?” I asked again, still looking at the ceiling. When my question was followed by silence, I came to see she was no longer on my bed—or even in the room for that matter. A pang of loneliness struck my chest, although I wasn’t sure why. She was the Cheshire, not a friend nor an enemy. Someone not wise to become attached to, for she was always working for her own agenda.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red gets triggered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small break from the White Rabbit narration, mostly because I wanted to try writing from Red's pov

How often are words spoken, yet never able to reach the one they were intended for? Where do they go after that? Do they find a new home, or are they forever lost? I like to think they drift off into a forever distance. Safe, where no one can ever reach them.

My mind was shifting too much for me to be able to focus on what the small flower girl was saying. Something about rose bushes? I couldn’t bring myself to care. Why was I needed? I missed my bunny.

White.

“No!” I screamed, snapping out of my mind when they presented white roses to me. I reached out and grabbed a fist full of stems, the thorns digging deep into my palm. The flower girl looked frightened, which only fueled the force behind my swing.

I swiped the roses at her head with half a mind to take it off. At the first drop of blood on her face, my first tear fell.

I was sorry.

But the white… The white was still in my head. It hurt, and therefore my rage did not end.

“Out!” I cried, “Get out! Out! Out!”

My tears blinded me as much as the white blinded my senses. I was alone. Alone with nothing but white. My screams occasionally reaching out with no response from the other side.

Alone. Confined. White.

I blinked away my tears enough to see the Red Knights holding me down. I never felt myself hit the ground in the first place. I didn’t like it here.

So much white.

Let me go! Let me go!

I filled my lungs with air and screamed so loud, I was sure the sound would rip apart my insides. But they would hear it. They had to hear it.

You will hear me.

You will…

 

* * *

 

 

It was dark.

There were light sources in the room, but the beams couldn’t reach me. Not here. Not in my mind’s eye.

My wrists hurt. These restraints had dug into my flesh from my earlier struggles. But exhaustion overcame me now, and they seemed so heavy. The weight rested on my wounds.

“I don’t wanna be here,” I whispered. “I don’t wanna be here anymore,” I tried a little louder. I would have screamed it so I knew they heard me, but nails now took residence in my throat from my earlier cries; I couldn’t manage anything much above a hushed whisper.

They didn’t hear me anyway. They never hear me.

I’m alone.

I’m alone.

I’m alone.

I’m alone.

Tears rolled down my cheeks, but they felt like acid. My torso finally fell limp and I fell over from my sitting position. The movement made the chains rattle knives into my ears. I couldn’t figure out if the silence was worse. 

I hated silence. I hated noise.

The single door jerked open and footsteps fell in. Have they come to hear me now? It was too late. I couldn’t even focus my eyes on whoever it was. I just kept staring off into the distance—wondering if that distance also had painful silence, or cutting noise.

Or perhaps it held relief. Salvation. And what if it did? Could I ever reach it? What if it was too far away? Everything is too far away.

Away from me.

I’m alone.

Blood. Ashes. White.

I didn’t notice whoever had come in was now gone. When did they leave? How long were they here for? Did they even speak to me?

Silence. Noise. Screams.

I closed my eyes.

Agony. Freedom. Capture.

Sharp teeth smiled at me.

 


End file.
